It is I

Lately, and B can attest to this quite clearly, I’ve become exceptionally discontented (or foul if you must) with my writing. Not only is this due to a string of rejections (I’m looking at you, Rattle and In Posse!), but I also don’t feel like I’m making substantial progress in my writing or that I’ve even veered away from experimental territory into needless obscurity and mediocrity. As someone ill-versed in poetics in general, I’m finding it almost impossible to identify where I’m falling short, though, like the Supreme Court and pornography, I know it when I see it.

My poetry’s setting has been niggling at my recently. Many of my successful poems, those I felt prized the most even before they were published (and some that haven’t been published yet), seem to successfully remove themselves from being pinned down to one scene. On the other hand, many of my unsuccessful attempts seem to mire themselves (notice the active voice there?) in these same dreary, gray worlds that are pretty formless and don’t provide much of a canvas for words. B always says it reminds her of foggy Indiana, and I have to agree: post-apocalypse without the inconvenience of apocalypse.

The biggest difference seems to be in making the setting transient, allowing it to shift from object to object, reference to reference rather than forcing them to conform to some setting (except when I’m writing for a consistent setting, which isn’t usually the case). True, I do like all of my poems to make some conceptual arc, but a narrative arc per se isn’t my thing. All of this leads me to believe that many of my Palsy Aria poems, as well as many recent efforts, have failed to avoid this pitfall, have become stagnant because of the dominant setting rather than allowing the connections between images / references to develop organically. I guess, at this stage, it’s worth noting that I’m probably referencing a different type of setting than you’re traditional they were in a verdant field with big trees everywhere type thing.

I’ve also been upset with my poetry’s language. More specifically, their overabundance of connective / transitional material (it works for college papers) and lack of snappy, unconventional movement. B says I’m making the transitions / connections painstaking. (It IS nice to have an honest wife-editor.) It seems like when I strive for a particular tone or voice, I often include too much of the former, making the poem’s presentation pedantic and, overall, unbearable, and I don’t focus on keeping things moving. This is odd, of course, since I previously had an affair with off-kilter grammar, sentence fragments, and other abrupt forms that eliminated such problems, though left some poems lacking in ease of understanding. For whatever reason, I strayed from using these devices, perhaps trying to develop a more narrative tone; however, I’m thinking about purposefully returning to them and attempting to expand within the forms in which I’m most effective, which would provide me with a more useful experience. My inner-most fear (I’ll post my fantasy later) is stagnating, and whenever B says “you’ve done a poem like that before,” I wet myself .

But between school and work, I’ve nary had a chance to seriously consider anything referenced above – I’m hoping to seriously focus on some writing this week to see what comes of it. I did revise a couple poems that had made their rejection rounds, and B said their presentation was much better, though she did prefer the earlier, more out-there forms, but I’m all about content. FWIW, I am mercilessly conquering civilizations on Civ IV when my brain needs a minute to hobble forward.

I haven’t done any reading lately unless you count several HRM articles on pay secrecy and law textbook chapters; I’d like to finish Minima Moralia before I head to Myrtle Beach on spring break, which is about 1 ½ weeks away. I’ll be immensely pleased when my MBA education is over. Maybe I received a superlative education at my undergrad institution – in fact, I think I did – but this whole experience has been underwhelming. But letters are letters, you know?

I’m sure everyone will be envious that I’m attending a webcast on the fixed income market for 2007 here in a few minutes. It’s exciting stuff; I should post a picture of Alan Greenspan or Ben Bernanke to show you how exciting it actually is. Zombie exciting!

That’s about all for now. Hopefully something interesting and worthwhile next post.

-j